When Karen Meekis first heard about a support group for survivors of sexual abuse, she jumped at the opportunity.
“I felt like it was my last resort or I was going to go crazy. I wanted healing so bad I was prepared to fight for it. It was a miracle that this service was available for me.”
From the age of three Karen and her two older brothers, grew up in a series of foster homes in Oregon, where Karen’s brothers were beaten viciously and Karen was sexually abused.
“I had to watch my brothers getting beaten. They’d line them up and we had to watch.
“I was terrified of men. I used to hide in the fields to get their stares off me.”
Karen’s worst fear came true when she and her brothers were split up and placed in separate homes.
“I thought, ‘I’m never going to see my brothers again.’ I did a lot of grieving.”
When Karen was ten, she and her brothers were moved into a Christian foster family.
“The moment we walked into their home, I knew I was safe.”
After so many years of abuse and changing homes, it wasn’t easy for Karen and her brothers to adjust.
“We all had a hard time because we had known so much. We had a hard time bonding or connecting. We were all so afraid we were going to be split up again.”
Two years later, their foster parents asked the children if they wanted to be adopted.
“I said yes for all of us. We’d never had a Mom and Dad. We were afraid of adults. For the first time I started to feel more normal.”
Watching her parents and their commitment to God made an impression on Karen. She loved their church, True Vine Christian Fellowship in McMinnville, Oregon. Gradually, through the example of the Christians around her, she came to faith in Christ.
While still a teenager, Karen began going on short-term mission trips to Chicago, Mexico and Canada, where she shared her story through words and drama. Coming to places like Grassy Narrows, Deer Lake and Thunder Bay was like coming home for Karen, a Kiowa Indian.
“It was in Canada that was my first contact with Native people. I really connected. I thought, ‘Hey, these are my people!”
Karen began looking for more lasting ministry, and found it when Keith and Lois Repman from Impact North Ministries asked her to come to Sandy Lake to help start a Christian school. After two years teaching in Sandy Lake, Karen married Clarence Meekis, an Oji-Cree originally from Deer Lake. Karen and Clarence lived in Red Lake for four years before Clarence decided to go to Confederation College in Thunder Bay to study civil engineering.
“Clarence and I would get asked to sing and share our stories at local Native ministries. It was there that I learned about sexual abuse support groups at Ishaawin Family Resources in Thunder Bay.”
Karen began attending a support group in the fall of 2003.
“The first time, I hit a wall. I couldn’t go any further. I quit going for four weeks, then asked if I could come back. The second time around I really worked at it.
“There have been so many breakthroughs, like finding my identity as a Native person, as someone who has had no childhood, and letting God fill that hole one part at a time.
“Before, when I shared my testimony in Sandy Lake and Red Lake, people would ask me if I had ever had counseling for the sexual abuse. It challenged me. I could share my story, but I couldn’t go any deeper. I’m so much closer to God now, and more open to express what I’m feeling. I have been able to forgive my abusers.
“Pursuing the support groups has given me a whole new perspective. The focus isn’t just on my pain and hurt anymore. It’s more on God—on walking into the light.”
Sharing her experiences with her husband Clarence has brought the two of them closer together. Karen is convinced that “God is gonna use me in some way for His glory.
“Jesus has filled so many gaps and holes for me, I just feel like there’s more hope and purpose to my life than ever before.”
Marianne Jones is a freelance writer living in Thunder Bay, Ontario. Her work has appeared in Wawatay News, Indian Life, Canadian Living, and The Globe and Mail.
This article was first published in the May-June 2003 issue of Indian Life.
