Sports interviews can be very entertaining. Golfer Greg Norman once said, “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees said: “Therapy can be a good thing. It can be…therapeutic.” After a pitcher hit baseball player Tito Fuentes, Tito said, “They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids.” My favorite is from NFL superstar Joe Theisman, “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” I think Norman was Albert’s little brother.
My dream as a 14-year-old was to make the NHL. I lacked skill but knew what to say in sports interviews. The media would thrust microphones at me before the big game. I’d say, “You know, our backs are against the wall, it’s crunch time, it’s do or die, there’s no tomorrow. We’re gonna bring our ‘A’ game, stick to the game plan, take it to the next level, stay within ourselves, step up to the plate, make something happen, show some athleticism, leave it all on the floor. We feed on pressure, we’re hungry. We’ll execute, gel, click, dig deep, fire on all cylinders. It’ll go down to the wire. A barn burner. A see-saw battle. It’s anybody’s game. Nobody expected us to be here, nobody gave us a chance. We have nothing to lose. They’re good, they’re not gonna roll over, but they put their uniforms on one leg at a time too.
“We’ll fight tooth and nail. Give 110 percent. Put some points up, show some poise, ‘cause anything can happen. And when we win, we’ll have left nothing on the field, because there is no glory in defeat, there is no ‘quit’ in ‘team,’ there is no ‘I’ in ‘team’ either. There may be a ‘me’ in team, but there’s no ‘I.’”
After the game when the lights have dimmed, the media will see me sitting there, head down, and I shall say, “Someone had to lose that game. Give them credit. They scratched and clawed, they wanted it more than we did.” Then I will break down in tears and say, “I’m here to announce my retirement.”
The media will gasp, “But you’re only fourteen. You can’t retire.” And I will say, “Why yes, I can. It was never about the money. I can’t wait to spend more time with my family.”
Clichés are old and over-used sayings. Christians are guilty of using them. We say, “Bless his heart.” What we mean is, “I have to love that guy because I’m a Christian. But he drives me crazy.”
We say, “I’ll pray for you,” then don’t. I’m learning to pray right there. Or write their name on my hand and pray when I see it.
We say, “God will never give you more than you can handle.” People rarely say this when they get their tongue caught in a revolving door. This may look good on a bumper sticker but it’s not in the Bible.
First Corinthians 10:13 assures us that God won’t allow us to be tempted beyond what we’re able to bear. But I’ve had more than I can handle. It helped me turn to the only one big enough to help me handle it. I’m learning to stop saying, “God is good all the time” to a friend facing hardship. It’s true, of course. But what he really needs is a listening ear and an arm around his shoulder. Those are never cliché. They’re priceless.
There’s an element of truth in any cliché, of course. But choose your spots wisely. Even Albert Einstein’s little brother Norman knows that.
Phil Callaway is a speaker, best-selling author, and host of Laugh Again Radio. Check it out at laughagain.org
