Being Honest with Ourselves

I have spent a lot of time recently thinking about honesty and I still struggle because even within the past day, there is still a degree of a lack of honesty. And discernment through reading someone is a gift but it's also a hindrance and then one wonders why there is no trust when through discernment it's obvious there is no honesty and then a lack of trust follows.

Honesty is a huge part of self-improvement and overcoming delusional thinking. If we aren't honest with ourselves and with those in our lives that are of importance to us, then we can't expect to learn and grow as individuals, because we aren't willing to recognize reality for what it is.

When we are dishonest, we only choose to see what we want to see, but we ignore what we don't want to see. This may provide short-term happiness or relief, but in the long-run it's unhealthy and destructive.

Being honest with ourselves can sometimes be painful, but being honest with the people that are of importance to you is a necessary component to long-term happiness and success in our lives.

Here are some key ways I have self-taught myself that will help and you can become more honest with yourself and with those around you who are of importance to you. It's tools I use.

Acknowledge both the good and bad in your life

One common way we delude ourselves is by ignoring the "bad" aspects of our lives. Sometimes it's easier to turn a blind eye to our problems rather than confront them face-to-face.

However, the truth is that ignoring problems in our life doesn't fix them. It can even make things worse in the future-because when we aren't honest about our problems they can grow out of control. Then what started out as a small problem can become a much bigger problem. Oh, I can feel you know what's coming on, did you hear me? "What started out as a small problem can become a much bigger problem."

Be honest about both the good and bad in your life. A balanced view is a healthy and practical view.

Take time to reflect

Just take 5-10 minutes every night to reflect on your day. Ask yourself questions like, "How did things go today? What did I do right? What could I have done better?" "When asked about something, why did I feel the need to lie about it to that person of importance to me..."

Be honest with yourself, but not too judgmental or critical. The goal isn't to hurt your self-esteem, but to take the information of the day and use it to improve tomorrow.

Reflection plays a key role in learning and problem-solving. When we give ourselves time to analyze the events of our day, we can often walk away with greater knowledge and insight into how to improve ourselves.

We need to ask ourselves, why was it important to not be honest about something when asked? When it's with someone of importance to you and asked, so why not be honest when asked?

Admit it when you make mistakes

One of the most painful things about being honest with ourselves about things that are important to us is admitting when we make mistakes. Often times we try to protect our egos by coming up with excuses or blaming others for our problems. However, true self-esteem can only be found when we are comfortable and honest about our mistakes and short-comings.

Only a person who admits their mistakes can learn from them and correct them. But someone who ignores their mistakes is setting themselves up to repeat them and repeat them and repeat them in the future. You get my point!

Pay attention to your feelings

We all experience emotions and they play an important role in how we understand our world and interact in it. While emotions can be misleading, they can also be very revealing. When we ask ourselves the true causes behind our emotions, we can learn what thoughts, actions, and situations cause us to feel a certain way.

This knowledge gives us a better understanding of ourselves and how to respond to our emotions differently in the future.

Be straightforward-don't over analyze

I believe self-analysis is an important and underestimated aspect of self-improvement. However, I also know that many people get carried away and over analyze themselves. I can be that way. My kids tell me I over think too much and if I'm being honest, they are right!

Being honest with yourself isn't about trying to intellectualize or rationalize everything that happens to you. Just be straightforward and "matter of fact" with yourself and with those around you. Being honest with someone is just that, being honest with the people of importance is just that.

Not to be confused, as there is a profound difference, in having to be honest directly in showing love and concern to others, because if you can't be honest with yourself and be open and honest with people of importance to you then you don't have the right to be honest and direct in dealing with the people of importance in their situations that need a breath of honesty. You only brutalize them or be a jerk about it. And you'll find yourself on the receiving end of much of the same. And you won't like it.

Being honest with yourself and with the people of importance to you is not the same as ""being honest with the people of importance to you." Previous statement clarifies what I mean.

You don't need to make up some elaborate story about why some bad event happened to you. Just make note of how things are in the moment, and put your best foot forward. You don't need to understand everything in the world, just enough to be sensible, practical, and realistic.

Know what you don't know

A necessary part of honesty is being aware of our limitations. This includes recognizing our imperfect knowledge and understanding that we don't know everything. For the "know it alls..." in my life take heart.

Being honest about what we don't know keeps us humble and realistic. Often times when we assume we know everything we act in stubborn and irrational ways. We also ignore evidence that may contradict our current beliefs.

Understanding our limitations keeps us open to new information and knowledge. This also allows us to be more flexible with our beliefs and modify them when we learn something new.

Honesty takes practice

Honesty is something we need to practice daily. We don't just become completely honest with ourselves or with those who are important to us overnight. It takes constant self-awareness and vigilance. And occasionally someone like the people who care about and love you the most helping you.

If you can't be honest with them it's typically a "sweep it under the carpet"and move on. And that's a dangerous slippery slope and how quickly you find yourself with no support and a lack of trust between you both that sometimes takes months or even a lifetime to heal because of it.

Being honest with ourselves can be painful but highly rewarding. When honesty meets our willingness to change, there is no telling the ways we can grow and improve. For me this is a daily challenge.

Love and blessings to all.