Whenever we experience some sort of grief, loss or trauma our body, soul and spirit want to run and hide and try to cover the pain-or try to numb or forget the pain. Yet, when we look at our holy book called the Scriptures, we see men and women expressing their pain and hurt.
Throughout the Holy Scriptures, that God gave to our spiritual ancestors and told us to pass along to our children, we hear stories of people like Job who lost everything within a short period of time even though he was a righteous man who feared God. We hear stories such as King David losing his baby boy because of his sin of adultery. We see people like Lazarus dying and we see Jesus Himself weep over his death. Then we hear more stories such as Ruth and Naomi losing their husbands and wandering for a while as widows in distress.
We also hear stories such as people being born blind and lame and having many diseases. These people, including myself and you, have one thing in common. We all know what it is like to mourn over loss or over never having anything of substance in our lives. Whether we lose someone through death or we lose an opportunity, or we lose faith in people, it all hurts our hearts when we go through it.
Many scriptures address the human experience of emotional pain:
• Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
• Psalm 147:3 says, "He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds."
• Matthew 5:1-3 says, "Now when Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to Him, and He began to teach them. He said: 'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.'"
These verses point to the fact that we all grieve from different situations and circumstances that come our way in this journey of life. Those in the Bible who were our ancestors did, our ancestors did in our families, and we do as well.
So, now that we know this to be true, we can either be dragged down by the experience or know that grief is part of life-and going through the grieving process is also part of our lives. We can embrace the grieving process for what it is or deny ourselves grief and make things worse.
You can read articles and books on grief and they will most likely mention the theory that there are at least five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These articles and books will also say that there is no right way or wrong way with regards to dealing with grief and there is no time limit to each stage.
Going through these stages or others like them is something we need to be aware of as we are dealing with grief, so we remind ourselves that it is normal to go through different emotions.
As a believer in Jesus I need to remind myself of four important things when I am going through the stages of grief because of loss.
1. I need to remind myself that the intensity of grief is temporary and will eventually fade.
2. I need to remind myself that Jesus Himself knows what it is like to grieve.
3. I need to remind myself that other people around me know what it is like to grieve.
4. This life is temporary. No matter what kind of grief we go through in this life time, sooner or later we all will take our turn at being in the casket at the front of the church or community hall at a funeral or wake.
Matthew 5: 4 also says, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." This is our hope in this life and the one to come. We will be comforted.
Going through the stages of grief is part of how God has made us and we will eventually be comforted. This is what gives me hope during times of grief.
I have grieved over my own sin and the consequences that followed. I have grieved over the death of loved ones. I have grieved over lost opportunities or closed doors. I have grieved over losing many things in this life time, but Jesus needs to be our focus whether we are grieving or having a season of excess joy and excess happiness. We may find help and support through our doctors and therapists, but amid the doctors and therapists and friends who lend a listening ear, we still need Jesus. He is the one who ultimately comforts those who mourn. This is where we find true healing of the heart.
Parry Stelter is a Bible Teacher and author and speaker. He is founder of Word of Hope Ministries. If you are interested in having Parry do a workshop on dealing with grief, loss and trauma you can contact him at parry@wordofhopeministries.ca
