Unzipped
Almost every person who makes a living public speaking has experienced a zipper malfunction on stage. This has happened to me twice. The first time it happened, I was speaking to a group of pastors. I stood there helpless, wishing my sweater were longer.
Another preacher friend of mine had it worse. As he was speaking, someone in the front motioned towards the zipper region. It took him a minute to realize what was being communicated. Problem was, there was a large crowd in front of him and a choir standing right behind him. What would you do? Well, he quickly turned to the side to take care of things. Unfortunately, in his panic, he zipped in the corner of someone's choir robe. With a soprano attached to his pants, you can imagine the chaos that ensued. I'm not making this up.
Have you ever suffered from extreme embarrassment? Maybe it's snorting while laughing. Or food in your teeth. Or maybe, like me, you've tripped or slipped. On a cold and snowy day, I wiped out on an icy sidewalk and ended up staring at the sky which, for a moment, was full of stars. I staggered to my feet holding my back.
Three teenage girls were walking past. "Are you okay?" one asked.
"I think so," I said. My kidneys felt like they would explode from the sheer pain of my trying to look like I wasn't experiencing any. The girls kindly moved on trying not to laugh.
I badly wanted to explain that I was a star athlete when I was their age and I am still in relatively good condition and quite coordinated for a guy who can barely see 50 in the rear-view mirror. But I couldn't catch up to them. Everything hurt. My lungs. My shoulders. My pride.
We've all had moments of humiliation. But this was the first time I realized just how funny it is that sometimes our biggest concern amid embarrassment and pain is what other people are thinking of us.
One of my favorite high school teachers liked to interrupt perfectly good English classes to remind us of the time he walked to the front of a huge church for a short speech.
"There's something God has been driving home to me lately," he had begun, as the crowd leaned forward. He paused for the sake of emphasis. "I'll never forget it," he said.
There was silence.
"Uh, I'll never forget it," he repeated.
Again silence.
He slowly backed from the microphone, walked swiftly to his seat and sat down, the lesson forgotten.
Each time I walk into a lamppost, or have a malfunction of some sort, I think of him and smile. What a gift he gave by telling that story.
We all understand the sting of embarrassment. The thought of being judged by those who witness our fumbles, and the shame that comes. The desire to hide under a rock for a year or two. But there's no undo button. No do-over.
Here are three things that can help.
1. Remember the empathy you feel when others slip.
2. Never forget that God sees us at our worst and loves us. "Get back up," He says, whatever we've done, He offers a fresh start.
3. Laugh. Shake it off. It's going to be fine. Few things are more valuable in recovering from embarrassment than a sense of humor.
That reminds me of the pastor who was preaching and telling a story about building sandcastles with his kids. "This is one of my daughters' favorite things to do," he said.
His six-year-old loudly announced, "No it's not!"
Phil Callaway speaks, writes books, and has a radio show called Laugh Again. Visit him at philcallaway.com
