Q: I have children with a man I was not married to, but I've met someone else I care about deeply. We want to marry, but I am struggling with the decision to do so. I am a Christian (although my relationship with the Lord is off and on) and need help knowing what would be right in the Lord's eyes.
A: First some questions to consider. How is the relationship between your children and their father? How long have you been separated and had you separated before and got back together? Have you talked with your children about what theywould think of your getting married to another?
It's very important to include your children in your plans. The person you want to marry or are thinking of marrying; Is he interested in the things of the Lord? Have you given yourself enough time to make sure in your heart if he is the one who will help not only you but your children as well? Do they consider him being part of their lives?
We want to follow the Lord, and prayer, and time will tell. God will give you peace about what decision you should make.
-Christine Quequish
A: First Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. . ."
You were not married to the man you bore children to, so you are legally free from the bonds of marriage. You are free. It sounds like this relationship has since ceased because you have met someone else you care about deeply enough that you are both talking about getting married.
However, you are struggling with your decision to do so, which partly may have to do with your Christian beliefs. You say your relationship with the Lord is off and on. You need to find out if you are a true believer and follower of Christ. The true Christian life is a total commitment to Christ and is not an off and on relationship. Backsliding is a sin. People do make false professions of faith, and you need to find out if your faith in Christ is genuine.
Second Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (English Standard Version)
If you are a genuine Christian then you should marry someone who is also a Christian. If you marry someone who is not a believer, then you will be unequally yoked. To be equally yoked in marriage is scriptural and this is what is right in God's eyes.
-J. Jolly
