Al D. Scott
Question:
I recently asked Jesus into my heart and I want to know if this means I shouldn't be living with someone I'm not married to? What if we have children together?
Answer:
When you asked Jesus into your heart you were born again. You are a new person and have a new life In Christ. "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun" (2 Corinthians 5:17, NLT). God wants you to live the new life you received in total obedience to Christ. As Christians we need to fully surrender our lives to God.
As a biblical counselor I always tell people that the only time it is right for a man to be sexually intimate with a woman is when they are married. Sexual immorality is a sin. First Corinthians 6:18–20 (NLT) directs, "Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So, you must honor God with your body."
The world today may normally accept people living in a common-law relationship but according to the Bible it is clearly defined as a sin. You should not be living with someone you are not married too. If you have children, you and your partner should think about getting married. It would be wonderful if your partner would also become a believer so you could be equally yoked. The Bible tells Christians to be holy because we are the temple of the living God: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14, TNKJV).
-J. Jolly
Answer:
First, I like to respond to this question from the Old Testament Scripture and finally from the New Testament.
In Genesis 2:21–24, I called it, "Out of the one became two, and out of the two became one," God created Adam (the one) and from Adam, Eve was created (became two that is to say, Adam and Eve) and out of the two became one. They became one flesh.
The Lord God created man and woman to have a relationship of companionship, the first date and wedding if you will. Adam was alone, and God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone . . . " This is God's perfect natural order of propagation of mankind. This is God's divine foundation for man and wife. In other words, this is God's ordained institution of marriage.
The marriage motif is woven throughout Scripture. The prophet Jeremiah speaks of God being the husband to Judah and Israel. This theme continues with the Marriage Supper of the Lamb in the book of Revelation. All this to say, God wants an intimate relationship with His creation.
We understand that God called us to a holy living. God knows that our former life style was marred by sin, darkness, and ultimate separation from God. Proverbs 14:12 says, "There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death."
Today, many people live together before they consider marriage. This has become a "normal" life style in our society, sad to say even among Christians. People often think that if it doesn't "work out" in relationship, they can go their separate ways. People are afraid to make a life-long commitment. Moral absolutes and standards are pushed aside. True love is replaced by instant sexual gratification.
In response to the question, the new believer needs to make up his or her mind to make things right before God and ask an honest question: Do I really love this person? If so, then seek the next step to marry.
First Corinthians 6:15–16 states, "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? May it never be. Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her? For He says, 'The two will become one flesh.'"
The Apostle Paul wanted the Corinthian Christians to know that their bodies are now members of Christ's body. Their bodies are not for sexual indulgence. In previous verses, Paul reminds them that they are washed, sanctified and glorified (verse 11).
I believe the Lord honors true repentance. A true repentance that leads to a transformed life, that is to flee immorality. We know unsaved people live an immoral life style. We need to show them God's love and share His Word so that truth of God becomes alive in their hearts. Thus, the Holy Spirit does the sanctification in their lives (I Peter 1:2).
In conclusion, the Bible says in Romans 3:23, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." The Lord Jesus is ready to forgive and restore true love in a relationship between man and wife. This is why its so important to wait and seek God for a godly person that respects biblical values and has a clear understanding what unselfish love and commitment are in regards to the question at hand.
First Corinthians 6:9 and following reminds us that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God. It names many sins including fornication and adultery. Chapter 7 continues with marriage relationship. Finally, a person can get married by their pastor, and then register with their state to sanction the marriage. Premarital counseling is strongly recommended for any couple.
-Al D. Scott
Al D. Scott is the Native American Academic Advisor FUSD in Flagstaff, Arizona. He's been married to Lula Scott 19 years, is a member of the Navajo Nation, is a USMC veteran, and Board Member of Western Navajo Bible Fellowship, Inc. He has a BA degree in Inter-Cultural Studies from Biola and a MA degree in Education, Human Relations/Counseling from NAU.
