It was pitch dark. The heat radiating from the walls of the cell wouldn't leave me alone. Sweat dripped off my hairy body. The night moved slowly-as slowly as the walls cooled.
Being in the Administrative Segregation Unit (The Hole), life moves at a snail's pace. There is little to do physically and even less when it's burning hot. Time seems to slow to a stop. A 24-hour day feels like a week; a week is a month and a month is eternity.
During the day the noise from steel doors slamming shut, the rattle of chains, clinking of keys, and voices from others provides a certain rhythm, but when it's dark and all the residents of the hole are trying to sleep, the air is thick with stillness. Not being able to sleep, I began to talk to the Lord.
My thoughts, even though the night was still and quiet, were all over the place. My focus was off. I struggled to remain on one topic. I felt like I was being left behind as my thoughts raced forward. I began to panic (just a little), so I grabbed hold of my speeding thoughts and addressed Father, "Why does it seem like I'm being left behind while everything and everyone else is moving forward?"
Unbidden, my thoughts turned to my high school days-the days when I had hair. Actual school work and homework weren't my thing, but much of what I heard from my teachers stuck. In my daydream I saw myself back in math class. The teacher was telling us that even though we were sitting in class, we were traveling at 18.5 miles per second. Every second of the clock the earth traveled 18.5 miles. Every ten seconds we will have traveled about 200 miles.
So even though it seemed like we were just sitting in math class, we were actually moving into our future at 18.5 miles every single second. Even though it may not feel like it, every single thing was moving.
I didn't snap out of my daydream because I wasn't deep into it, but the memory caused me to laugh out loud. I knew God had brought this to mind to help me see that the night was moving faster than I thought. Even more, my future was moving along just fine in His hands.
Just because I didn't feel like my life was shifting at all while I sat in the hole, God had never taken His loving hands from my future. His plan for my life will always prosper. Even in the slow, dark, and eerie times of my life, God's plan is in full force, moving at unimaginable speed.
Maybe you are reading this, and realize that you too have often wondered why God doesn't seem to be active in your life. You seem to be stuck at an intersection. Or maybe life's cool nights have turned uncomfortably hot. What you once were so sure about is now in question.
There is hope. Hope in a God so big-a God Who is not subject to time. Stay true to His Word, and wait upon Him, for even as you wait, He is moving you forward in ways only a loving and true Creator can.
Don't lose hope. God is guiding you according to His plan for you. Trust Him, and rejoice in the God Who has never lost control.
Adrian Torres is incarcerated at California Institution for Men. Enjoy more of his writing at https: thewallstalkstories.wordpress.com
