Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make jour paths straight. Proverbs 3:5 NIV
It doesn't seem like a long time since I first gave my life to the Lord and received His promise of eternal life. In fact, it only feels to me like it was yesterday.
I chose to follow Christ at the age of fourteen, with a large group of my friends one Friday evening at a youth rally on my reserve of Bearskin Lake.
I did not realize the change that would occur in my life-to my lifestyle and attitudes. I now had to make choices! Yes, my life had changed drastically.
I grew up in a broken home. When I was two years old, my parents divorced due to alcohol and physical abuse. My family split up: I went to Thunder Bay with my mom and my older brother stayed in Bearskin Lake with our dad.
As a girl, I didn't know what negative effect a dysfunctional and unstable home would have on my life. By the time I hit my teens I found out. I had already begun to smoke, steal and involve myself with the street life, eventually getting deeper into drugs and alcohol. I would stay away from home for days, simply because I wasn't happy there. With my friends, I felt accepted and happy. All of this ended when my mom decided I was too hard for her to handle and sent me back to Bearskin Lake to be with my dad. But the trouble I was involved in didn't end when I returned to the reserve.
That kind of trouble did end when I gave my life over to Christ. But there were other difficulties. I went from being a teenybopper to a girl who chose to attend church. I had a boyfriend I broke up with and friends who wouldn't talk to me because I was a Christian. I suddenly went from cool to baby drool.
Still, life was pleasant the first few months of being a Christian. I had friends that made the same choice and we faced the same struggles and encouraged each other. It wasn't too long after that a friend asked me, "So, are you going to backslide?" To me that was unheard of, something that I wouldn't even consider. Yet it was obvious that it had crossed the minds of my friends.
Soon I was left alone on the reserve as the only young teen Christian. Now those were lonely days. I went to school each day expecting to be beat up or at least sworn at. I was scared but I was determined to live for Christ no matter what the cost.
My family knew of the choice I had made and they were supportive of my decision. They have always been supportive though my parents and my brother have not made the same choice.
Eventually it came time to go to high school outside of the reserve. I went to a small city called Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario and I was lonely there too for the first couple of years. I had to adjust and find a church with a youth group. I attended a Baptist church that had a youth group that was well organized. But it took time for the teens at this group to talk to me and for me to talk to them. Eventually, this group became my best friends. As a teen there were times when it was difficult and I faced pressures during high school.
One of my struggles was finding my identity and that didn't change after I became a Christian. Growing up in a dominant white society, it is hard to identify yourself as a Native. I remember having to write a speech for class and choosing to talk about the reservation. Why did I choose to talk about that? There are so many topics I could have chosen to speak about. Since I didn't grow up on the reserve, I didn't know anything about it yet I talked about my community of Bearskin Lake.
In my many struggles and the confusion of being a young person, I have learned that I can find comfort in Jesus when I give Him the broken pieces of my life. In Luke 4:18 Jesus spoke these words:
The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me because He has anointed me, to preach the gospel to the poor, He has sent me to heal the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.
Jesus spoke these words with authority and He meant every word!
As I struggled to find out who I am as a Native and a Christian, I found guidance and encouragement while I studied the Bible. Romans 12:1,2 says "Therefore I urge you brothers [and sisters], in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will." I am reminded that you don't lose your identity once you choose to become a Christian. In fact, you gain one. Once you have made the choice to follow Christ, you have the privilege to be a witness for Him. In fact Jesus left this earth with these last words recorded in Matthew 28:19. "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit." The story of Jesus is not for one particular ethnic group but in Jesus words, "all nations." So our identity as a Native does not have to rely on traditions but can be found in Jesus Christ!
For myself, choosing to stick with the Christian life has been a rewarding experience. I encourage you to get right back up and keep on going, even when you stumble. I know I would not give it up for anything. The Bible says "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him" (1 Corinthians 2:9).
