Something bigger going on

I grew up in Cumberland House, northeastern Saskatchewan. It's kind of an isolated place, about 200 km northeast from Nipawin, a larger town. The community is on an island in a delta region of the Saskatchewan River. Some of the people are still involved in fishing, hunting and trapping. My father was mainly a fisherman, so I grew up eating a lot of fish! As a kid, many times I went out with him in his boat, and then in the winter there was ice fishing, as well.

I wish I could say that Cumberland was a great place to grow up but, especially in my teen years, there were negative things. My mom raised my two sisters and me to believe in God and in the Bible. She had attended a Native Bible school, and her mom and aunties were believers. But I didn't have a lot of positive influence from my peers. My friends were not Christians, and there was no church youth group to go to, and it was hard to be alone. So I got in with the wrong crowd and did what they did to be accepted-partying and stuff like that.

Whenever I tell people how I came to follow the Lord, first of all, I say that it's God's grace. I know that my mom's influence had a lot to do with it. All three of us kids were kind of pushed to go to Sunday school when we were younger. I didn't really enjoy it, but she made us go. As I look back, I know that I wasn't a model child-I was very selfish and self-consumed, so my relationship with my mom was sometimes strained.

One summer I was up to no good with my friends, and my mom said, "You're going to Bible camp."

I told her, "No, I'm not!"

She said, "Yes, you are."

She knew that's what I needed-to have God in my life. So she forced me to go to Bible camp, and I was sure that I wouldn't like it. Off I went to Bible camp . . . and it was great! I met really good people who are still good friends today. It was at Big River Bible Camp, about five hours away. It was great because I met a lot of people who were very similar to me, from First Nation communities like mine.

At Bible camp I felt free to be myself, but also to wrestle with questions about God. It opened my eyes to see that there was something bigger going on. Like when you look at the stars or look at the northern lights, when you look at creation all around us, it speaks of a Creator. I had to wrestle with that. Is God real? And if He is, what does that mean for my life? At Bible camp, those things slowly started to make sense to me.

However, the biggest thing that won me over to Christ was simply the love of God that was expressed through the friendships I made. It wasn't so much the words, but the acts of love. The people at camp taught me that I'm loved by God, and they modeled it by the way they lived. So, for the first time, I knew and felt that God loved me. I wanted to follow Him.

I liked camp so much that I asked if I could come back to work the next summer. I thought they'd probably say no, but they said yes. So I started spending my summers at Bible camp. Each summer would be a great experience of growth, and the Lord would teach me a lot of things. All my Christian friends were at Bible camp, so going back to the reserve was really tough. At first I'd go back home and walk with the Lord for about a month, and then my friends would drag me down. But every year my faith would get stronger, so the next year my walk with the Lord extended to about two months, then three. Every year it just kept getting longer and longer that I was able to stand for the Lord at home.

When I first got saved, I was afraid to tell people that I was a Christian. I thought that if I told somebody that I was living for the Lord, they'd be quick to point out my flaws. But I learned that it's not about the bad things we've done-it's about the person we're becoming. It's about our relationship with the Lord. I think, even with my setbacks, my friends and family could see that going to Bible camp was changing me.

What helped get me through was staying in contact with my Christian friends from camp. I should have kept a closer connection with the church in Cumberland, but I did read a lot of Christian books while I was home, and I tuned into Christian programs on TV. I downloaded sermons online, anything to spiritually nourish me, and I listened to Christian music.

At Bible camp I met people who had gone to Bible college or were thinking of going, so in my Grade 12 year, I started seriously thinking about it. I had a scholarship for university, but I gave it up to go to Bible college, which meant getting a student loan. I felt in my heart that was where the Lord was leading me. A lot of people were calling me crazy, even some of my own family. They said that I should go to university and then get a good job. But somehow I knew that whatever the Lord had planned for me, it was going to be worth it. My parents were happy with my decision-they knew that following after God was the right thing. So I went to Nipawin Bible College and the Lord really provided for me while I was there.

I remember I needed $600 for textbooks. I was praying, "God, if you want me here, then You will provide a way for me."

I didn't want to go back home and look like a failure. It was amazing how God helped me. I was able to delay payment on the textbooks. I still didn't have money at that time but, even so, when I heard about some children overseas who needed sponsors, I thought that God wanted me to sign up for that. A day later somebody called the college from a Native Christian organization that sponsors First Nations students attending Bible college. There were four of us there that year, and they picked me! Not only did they pay for my books, but they also paid for the overseas child I had sponsored!

I went to Bible college for four years and, honestly, I'm not sure I would have kept following the Lord if I hadn't gone. But it was not all easy. During my second year, my mother got very sick and passed away. I was just 20 years old and, for me, it was a life crisis.

I remember going to the hospital to see my mom. I had to travel to Saskatoon, and my hospital visits were getting longer and longer. I just felt that I really needed to be there as her health kept declining.

I had to settle a lot of things in my heart. There was still a lot of bitterness and unforgiveness in my life. I had to mend my relationship with her because I knew she wasn't going to be there much longer. On a visit with her one day, I looked at my mom and said, "Mom, I love you, and I apologize. I'm sorry that I don't say that enough."

That was one of the toughest things to say. It was a transforming experience, though, and our relationship really flourished. She told me a lot of things, and it helped me to understand a bit more of her life growing up.

It was a great loss when she passed away. I wanted her to see me graduate from Bible college. My mom passed away on March 24, a month before my final exams. When I look back at my college transcripts to see that I passed all my classes, I know that God helped me. The day I received my four-year diploma I was very happy that my family was there, but it was extra emotional because my mom wasn't there. There were so many other things that I wished I could have shared with her.

I did attend university after Bible college, but in my heart, I wanted to preach. Apparently, one of my college professors had mentioned my desire to preach to some churches in the area. So for about a year I did "pulpit supply." Then a church in Melfort approached me and said, "Would you consider being our pastor?"

There's more to being a pastor than just preaching, and the thought really frightened me. But a month later, after the Lord kept prodding my heart, I decided to apply. I still had doubts, and it was because I was focussing on my failures, rather than on the power of God. First Timothy 4:12 says, "Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." That helped me to understand that God cares about the struggles that youth go through. Pain is pain, no matter what age you are.

I would have been happy if the church had turned me down, but six interviews later, they accepted me! When I told my family that I was going to be a pastor, the first thing my dad did was give me a big hug and say, "I'm so proud of you."

I think I was one of the lucky ones to have a father in my life-not too many people I know grew up with their fathers. Even though I don't have my mother with me now, I still have a dad.

I think about the times in my life when I felt that I didn't have any potential. When I became a Christian and started reading the Word of God, I learned that God doesn't think of me as a "nobody." I am a "somebody"-a child of God, with His power living inside of me giving me the strength to get up and do what He has called me to do.

Adapted from Tribal Trails TV interviews. See more inspirational stories like this at TribalTrails.org.