Q: Recently I was hurt by a person in a position of leadership and authority. Although this person has apologized to me, he has not had to face any other consequences for his behavior. I'm finding it difficult to accept his apology and just forgive him. I still hurt, and it doesn't seem fair for this person not to be punished in some way for his actions. I'm a Christian, and I know that the Bible says I am to forgive and forget. How do I forgive when I feel that justice has not been served?
I'm sorry to hear of the dilemma you are sifting through and how it has troubled you.
Unfortunately circumstances like this would have us to believe that it would go unnoticed, but this is not so. Second Corinthians 4:16–18 (NIV) reminds us to not lose heart, for momentary troubles are fleeting, and the verse encourages us to fix our eyes on what is unseen. God will take care of it, and He will take care of you.
As followers of Jesus Christ we need to be reminded that we can do nothing to change the behavior of another, and the impact of the offense it has on our lives-only God can do that. We are only asked, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone . . . " (Romans 12:18–21, NIV).
This does not always seem possible-in fact it seems rather impossible. But in the gist of it, it will accomplish God's purpose.
This can be a hard lesson to learn, especially when you feel unfairly treated. But rather than focusing on the offense, focus your attention on God's care for you. Remember God will right the wrong, seeing we are all susceptible to being hurt and hurting others, whether it's intentional or not.
Every believer knows we need to forgive one another. In Matthew 18:15, Jesus said, "If your brother sins, show him his fault, and if he repents forgive him." He was asked, "But how many times must I forgive?" and in Matthew 18:22, Jesus responded, "Seventy times seven," which meant there is no limit on forgiveness, and unforgiveness is a loss to both parties.
How we deal with stressful events in our lives as believers makes a difference in our personal lives and to those around us.
Aim for restoration and let the peace of Christ be the controlling factor that settles your heart. We can't change the actions of others, but we change the way we think and how we respond to them. There are no conditions on forgiveness, nor is forgiveness a method to forget or condone bad behaviour. But rather, forgiveness brings healing from God and freedom from the offense and the offender.
Be assured that God will address any wrongs committed-just leave it to Him. No sin goes unpunished. Romans 2:12 says, "He will punish sin whatever it is found" (LBT).
God is a just and fair God. We need only to be responsible for our own response-forgiving with no strings attached and entrusting the outcome to God.
And remember: "When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:17–18).
Rose Buck serves on the Indian Life Ministries Council Speaks Panel
