I tossed. I turned. I flipped. Nothing helped. I could not fall back to sleep. I wasn't sleepy, and I had just finished a nice dream, so I knew I had slept for a little while, anyway. Now as I lay awake, I wondered how late -or early-it was.
Even in prison we try to keep up with world events. TV, radio, and letters from loved ones help us see, hear, and read about the outside world. With all the devastating natural disasters, and incidents of hate happening all around the globe, in a weird way those of us "inside" are safer than those "outside." Our thick concrete walls keep us away from most of the natural disasters. Our distance from civilization removes us from riots and uncontrollable mobs. Prisons are rarely terrorist targets; the trip hazards in today's fast-paced world don't really make their way behind the high fences. Our snail-paced plodding continues, unaffected.
It's a little different story, however, for those of us in Ad Seg (the Hole). We don't learn about world events until days, and sometimes weeks, later. When I learn of a happening while in Ad Seg, I slowly process it. Depending on the extent, my mind might ponder it for days.
Naturally, I use Scripture to filter the information. As many already know, I'm not one to be yelling from the rooftop about end-of-the-world events, not because I don't believe that we are living in the end times, but because I simply don't understand it all.
However, the latest events I've heard about have made me take a closer look at my life to make sure I'm ready for Christ's return. One of my mentors even wrote and said, "Jesus's second coming is near. Keep looking up!"
All night I had been taking inventory of my life, and was praying about it. I must have gone to sleep without knowing it, and actually had a restful sleep; yet I woke up before dawn.
As I tried and tried to force myself back to sleep, I kept saying, "I wonder what time it is? Should I ask the officer next time he walks by? Lord, give me some way of knowing the time."
I was humoring myself because it really didn't matter; even if I knew, I would still just lie there, praying and hoping to go back to sleep. Yet I kept repeating it over and over again. "I wonder what time it is? Should I ask the officer. . . . "
I believe that our Creator has a beautiful sense of humor, and He was going to show me a little of it. As I lie there, wondering about the time, this verse popped into my head: "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone."
I almost lost it. I restrained myself from laughing out loud for my cellmate's sake, but a snort or two escaped. I was so sure the Father had put these words into my head so I would stop worrying about the time. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.
At this point in my writing I usually turn it around and offer some biblical advice or wisdom, but today, in light of all that is happening in our world, I only have one question.
Are you ready? The signs that we see are no laughing matter.
Adrian G. Torres is incarcerated at California Institution for Men. He has written the book, The Walls Talk about walking with the Lord in prison.
