I was born in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan, and my sister was born two years later. Then my parents, who were both alcoholics, broke up. My mom got into a relationship with another man and had two more daughters. Those years, we lived in a little neighborhood called Hazeldale, on the edge of the city of Prince Albert, until my little sisters were about school age.
About five or six years later, my mom got into another relationship where she had two boys. That relationship lasted longer, but my mom and her partner were still alcoholics, and an incident when I was in grade nine broke up our home.
Some of my stepdad's friends had come over. They were wanted by the police, and it resulted in the police coming into our house to make arrests, and all of us children were apprehended. So our family was separated. My closest sister and I were sent to a girls' home in Prince Albert, and my younger sisters and brother were sent to a foster home where, we learned later, my brother was mistreated.
I know that my mom loved all of us, and she worked hard to get her kids back after that incident.
However, I chose to move in with my kokum (Cree for grandmother) on Ahtahkakoop Cree Nation, also known as Sandy Lake, about an hour northwest of Prince Albert. That's where I lived most of the rest of my high school years. She and my stepdad were not part of the crime, but he was an angry man, addicted to alcohol and marijuana. Also, seeing my mom not in her right mind made me not want to be around any of that.
I think that living with my kokum is part of the reason why I didn't get into drugs and drinking. My kokum never touched alcohol or drugs, though she had a hard life as a residential school survivor, and her parents were alcoholics.
It was the first summer staying with my kokum that I went to Big River Bible Camp. Some of my friends and cousins from Sandy Lake were wanting to go, so I went with them. That was in 2006, and I was 14 years old.
One of my memories from that first year at camp was being in my cabin one evening while some of the other campers asked our cabin leaders questions about the Bible and about God. Our cabin leaders didn't seem to know how to answer some of the questions.
Bible camp wasn't my first exposure to things of God. In grade three, I remember taking a Bible from the school library and reading: "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."
So I knew that there was this God who created the world. And my relatives on the reserve talked about Creator. From then up until about grade six, I can remember wondering, "Why are we here on earth?"
Over the next couple years I remember hearing Bible stories at a Christian couple's house. And about grade nine, before we were apprehended, my sister and I attended an after-school program at a church. I'm sure they talked about Jesus, but none of that really sank in. So all I really knew was that there is a Creator God.
It was my cousin who was asking our cabin leaders questions about Jesus that night. When our cabin leaders knew they needed help with our questions, one of them went and got Anita, the camp director's wife, to join us.
I remember Anita telling us about Jesus dying on the cross for each of us. I don't know why, but at that time I felt like I wasn't really worth dying for. I thought, "I didn't do anything for Jesus. Why would He want to die for me?"
I remember lying on my bunk listening to Anita and thinking, "Well, that's not what my family believes, so I don't believe that." So I just turned my head and went to sleep.
So I went home from camp and was living with my kokum, while having visits with my mom and stepdad and siblings. But Bible camp was stuck in my mind. There was something there that I wanted, and I didn't really realize at first that it was Jesus.
That first year after Bible camp was a transforming year for me. I don't have a date, but I know that sometime that year I understood why Jesus died for me, and I invited Him into my life. The next summer there was no doubt that I wanted to be back at camp. My friends and my cousins all agreed that we would go back.
Every summer after that, I stayed at Bible camp for several weeks. Soon, I was asked to be a cabin leader, and then I was asked to be a camp program co-director. I always thought of myself more as a "follower" with my friends, but the camp leaders saw some leadership skills in me. I enjoyed leading, and I came back year after year to be a program director, or a cabin leader. Over the next few years, I think I did just about every job around the Camp except drive the motorboat!
In 2009, two or three years after I'd started working at camp, my kokum, who I still lived with, was diagnosed with cancer and had surgery. It was a very difficult time for our family. She was in her seventies by then, and it was scary for us to have her go for surgery. I remember my family all sitting in the hospital waiting room and crying.
Strangely, I had peace in my heart and mind that she was going to be okay. I had asked the church in Big River to pray for her, and my other friends had promised to pray, as well. She came through surgery fine, and lived another 10 years.
For me, that was a time when God really just showed up for me not just at camp, but outside of camp. It showed me that God is real, that He hears our prayers. To me, it was a miracle. Our kokum was just like our rock for our family, and it would not have been good for my family if she would have passed away then.
I went back to camp the following summer, and I was learning more about God even while I was serving there. I graduated from high school in 2009. I had planned to go to Bible college in the fall, but because my kokum was recovering from cancer surgery, I felt that I needed to stay home and watch our house on the reserve. My kokum ended up staying in Prince Albert, so I lived by myself on the reserve for the year.
I knew that I still wanted to go to Bible college to learn more about the Bible and just how to use it properly. The next summer, my friend told me about Bethany College, near Saskatoon. So I went there for three years and graduated with a diploma in Biblical studies. Those were really solid but hard years. During that time, my mom started drinking more, and my brothers were apprehended for a time. In those three years, I had cousins who died.
The house that I had lived in on the Reserve was taken over by my cousin, so I didn't really have a place to go home to after each school year. Before summer camp started each year, a family in Langham took me in for two months and gave me employment until camp time. Then I would go back to college in the fall. Those were good growing years for me, having people step in those roles of being like family to me.
I've always been encouraged each year to see returning campers and staff growing in their faith. For many, camp is like their spiritual family, and many of them don't have a good family life. I think that's what kept me going. Even on the days serving at camp when I felt like throwing in the towel, I knew God had everything under control. We know that there is an enemy at work, but we know that God is stronger. When we've seen a camper with a hard heart, I think of my own hard heart that first summer at camp, and how the Lord changed me and made me His child.
Terri stayed involved with Big River Bible Camp until her marriage and a move to Alberta. She still considers Big River Bible Camp her spiritual home.
