Recently, a doctor friend sent me a list of actual notes made on patients' medical charts. I hope you find them as funny as I did:
"Patient's medical history has been remarkable, with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days."
"She slipped on the ice, and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December."
"The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 2003."
"On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day . . . it disappeared."
"The patient refused autopsy."
"She is numb from her toes down."
"Patient has occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."
"Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid."
"I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."
"She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until the divorce."
"Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."
"Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities."
"He has a long history of a short leg."
"Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."
"The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."
"The patient was in his usual state of good health until his aircraft ran out of fuel and crashed."
"The patient left the hospital feeling much better, except for her original complaints."
"When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."
I think if hospitals just posted this list in reception areas, half the patients would leave fearing that these doctors might treat them. The other half would go home because they wouldn't need treatment any more.
"A cheerful heart," wrote wise King Solomon, "is good medicine," and science is beginning to catch up with his findings.
Cardiologist Michael Miller and colleagues at the University of Maryland tested blood flow in healthy men and women after they watched the tense opening of "Saving Private Ryan," then 15-to-30-minutes of comedy clips. The laughter boosted blood flow by 50 percent.
According to New Scientist magazine, laughter improves arterial health by reducing mental stress, which constricts vessels and cuts blood flow. Michael Miller says, "At the very least . . . laughter on a regular basis will undo some of the excess stress we face in our everyday lives. Patients at risk for cardiovascular disease should loosen up a bit."
When we live by the principles found in God's Word, we benefit. Laughter can remind us that we have every reason to rejoice. We've been forgiven. God is sovereign. Heaven is waiting.
So go ahead and laugh today.
One more medical chart blooper might help: "The patient lives at home with his mother, father and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week."
Phil Callaway is host of Laugh Again radio and the author of 30 books, including his latest Creation's Awesome Critters. Visit him at laughagain.org.
